Is your toddler a difficult eater? Does he or she refuse to try new foods and only wants foods that he or she already knows or likes? It's totally normal! Dealing with such a child, however, requires a lot of patience, because it will usually make mealtimes a stressful time for the whole family.

Fortunately, there are some psychological tips for mealtimes with children that you can put into practice until you achieve positive results. But do it gradually.

It is good, on the one hand, to be a little picky about what you eat. Because, if a child eats anything and everything, he or she runs the risk of getting sick from food that might be rotten. On the other hand, if our first-born child takes this problem of not wanting to eat almost anything to extreme levels, he or she may have difficulty consuming enough calories.

You would therefore end up underweight, in fact, you could develop nutritional deficiencies by not eating enough variety of foods. It is precisely for this reason that we would like to share some child psychology advice for mealtimes with children.

Psychology tips for mealtimes with children

Eating is a skill, like any other. Some skills are easy to learnOthers take more time, and may even require the help of a professional to acquire. There are, however, two principles to facilitate learning in either case: 1) Make one change at a time, 2) When you make a change, make it gradually.

On the basis of these premises we recommend that you pay attention to these tips of Psychology for mealtimes with children:

Relax and create a good atmosphere

Relaxation is not laxity but healthy benevolence and respect for the real needs of the child. We often tend to worry or think that if our child does not want to eat it is because he or she does not like our food. Our need for recognition is therefore unsatisfied. But that is not the point at all.

Let's take a moment to breathe and not get caught up in our misjudgements. The child will eat much better if the atmosphere is calm and relaxed. Let's create a good atmosphere. Laughing, chatting, smiling, singing, making faces,... are ideas to create a light atmosphere conducive to a joyful meal.

Suggests a time of cuddling before the meal. 

Affectionate and tender physical contact reduces stress for parents and child. In addition, these hugs soften relationships and strengthen mutual trustCome on, let's hug our children before we eat!

After this act of love and affection, the child can also express his or her emotions. If he or she has felt anger or sadness before each meal, this verbalisation will be beneficial in unblocking the emotion that tends to make him or her want to eat.

Present dishes with delicacy and serenity.

When you force, expect resistance! By proposing, the child chooses and is involved in his or her action. This empowers him or her, puts him or her in touch with his or her feelings and makes him or her gain autonomy. Keep in mind, however, that proposing once is not enough. On average, 6 to 10 times are necessary (always with calm and sanity).

Don't force it 

Forcing always carries with it a small dose of stress that will disconnect the child from his or her feelings. They will therefore be less willing to try what you offer them. In addition, the influx of unpleasant emotions will be associated with the memory of the meal and will trigger repetitions of this oppositional scenario.

Avoid using derogatory labels

Labelling your child as a "child who doesn't eat" or "doesn't like anything" creates a belief that eventually becomes a reality... and could haunt your child for much of his or her life.

Promotes autonomy

Depending on the age of the child, suggest that he/she put the cutlery or glasses on the table, take out the bread, serve the juice... or simply eat as he/she wants.

Adapt meal times

Hunger may not be present at all at traditional mealtimes. In this case, your child may eat later. A child is very attentive to his or her hunger and satiety signals. Instinctively, he or she absorbs the amount his or her body needs to grow well.

His own needs will vary from day to day depending on his growth peaks, his state of fatigue, the viruses he has to fight, etc. If he has eaten little at lunch, he will catch up spontaneously at snack time or in the afternoon at home. Also, don't forget to put the amount eaten into perspective with its small weight and size.

Let him eat with his fingers

Some children eat less enthusiastically when an adult forces them to, even with specific cutlery. Our children need to discover food, just like the rest of their environment, armed with their five senses and their ten little fingers.

This multisensory scanning The spontaneous eating of food allows them to get to know it better. It is not a game for them, but a necessity. Moreover, young children are not always able to categorise the elements in their environment and to differentiate between what they have the right to touch with their hands, to taste, and what is exclusively meant to be eaten with a spoon.

Strategies for young children with food aversions

Consider using sensory-based food play strategies that help the child become accustomed to the sensory experiences of food. Here are some examples

• Does food cause a strong visual reaction? Play peek-a-boo with a towel. Small flashes of food can be tolerated and, over time, visual interaction with food can be prolonged.
• Is touching food or food textures a problem? Placing food in plastic bags and drawing letters or shapes is an approach that can be effective. Use an object such as a stick vegetable to touch or handle unfamiliar foods.
• Does your child like food in only one form? Consider preparing it in a different way. If you don't like hard-boiled eggs, for example, try making them in a different way, such as scrambled, poached, etc.

Conclusions

It is normal for a child to prefer certain foods to others. His or her favourite foods are usually the ones he or she knows best, because it reassures him or her and therefore he or she does not take risks. Now, in order for him or her to like more foods as he or she grows, he or she must have the opportunity to get to know several of them. Diversifying your child's menu is a parental duty to help him discover other foods.

By regularly having new foods or less favourite foods in front of him/her, your child will gradually get to know them. It is important to let him/her explore these new foods at his/her own pace, without forcing him to eat.

But offer only one new food at a time and always put at least one food he likes on the table. Be careful not to force him to try it, as he will associate the food with a negative emotion.